


Tales of the Shitty Restaurant

by zeloflake



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-01 09:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12701901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeloflake/pseuds/zeloflake
Summary: The Shitty Restaurant is an unusual spot. You might find it in a hidden corner of the city you live in - the owner likes to wander, and so do the employees. In this place where delicious food intertwines with people's destinies, one can find their life to be drastically changed by the time they finish their meal.





	1. Chapter 1

"Everything's set?" Baekhyun asked, only to hear an incomprehensible yell from the kitchen. He assumed, more from routine than from understanding what his boss had said, that was a 'yes'.  Turning the little plaque on the door to OPEN, he resumed his work, organizing the coasters by color.

Even doing such a mundane task, he felt a kind of electricity in the air. As if something was coming soon, and it was going to turn his entire world upside down.

***

Chanyeol is an accountant. He is used to seeing the world in numbers, precise lines and sums, subtractions and divisions. The evenness on his life works like a clock, giving him parameters and making the routine unbreakable. Just like he wants it to. He is a child from a broken home, with a drunk father and a sick mother, who died at his birth. All those nights he spent awake, whispering to the gods that he would get out, find a stable job and never look back. He is slowly becoming numb, forgetting what emotions feel like, as he punches number after number on his calculator.

That's what he wants, he tells himself. That's what he needs. A job gives you enough to live, while relationships the life out of you. Relationships aren't about trusting. They're about giving and taking, and being the one less miserable at the end. He was fine without, he believed, for as long as he had his feet on this earth.

That was until, when going home from work one day, he spotted a male figure leaning against the door of a shabby restaurant. He was dressed simply, with an apron on, looking at the flowers on the balcony. And out of nowhere, he smiled. The brightest thing Chanyeol had seen his entire life, just like that. The moment passed and the boy went inside, but his face lingered on Chanyeol's mind.

That wouldn't do, he thought. Flashes of the stranger's smile kept occurring to him, on work, making dinner, watching TV. So he decided to satisfy his insistent mind and go to the restaurant, if only to get rid of that new obsession. The last thing he needed was an accidental breaking of his routine.

He entered the restaurant with a fixed mindset. Order, see what that smile was all about, realize it was no big deal, eat, and leave. He was on lunch break, and it had been a week since he spotted the man. The cute crescent moon-shaped eyes and the little crooked teeth bugged him to no end. Not that he found them cute, obviously. They would be considered cute if according to society's standards. Unlike Chanyeol's too big smile, he had learned the hardest way, when the other kids made fun of him because of it.

The place was empty, with only one other costumer, a teenage boy who seemed to be sleeping on the counter. It was no surprise, since it was really small and looked cheap from a glance. Inside, it had its charm, though. The atmosphere was cozy, with the Chinese paper lamps and wooden furniture, and the smell on the air was salty and pungent. It smelled like good food, the kind you eat on family holidays, and cigarettes. He  sat down on a table next to the front, with a nice view of the flowers on the balcony and the street.

"Hello, welcome to The Shitty Restaurant!" The boy he was thinking about the entire week appeared, giving him a menu. "I'm Baekhyun and I'll be your waiter today. The special of the day is the tuna roll spaghetti, and we are out of sodas. Issues with the provider."

Chanyeol looked at the boy, before realizing he shouldn't be staring so blatantly and choosing to examine the menu instead. The options seemed tasty, but since he wasn't in the mood to choose, he just went with the special.

"Anything else?" Baekhyun asked, after taking note. He had shiny brown hair and a very pretty face, Chanyeol noticed. By society's standards, of course.

"No, thank you. I mean, actually, there's something." It was bugging him since the boy first spoke. He hoped it wouldn't be indelicate to ask. "The restaurant's name really is 'The Shitty Restaurant'? Why?"

Baekhyun chuckled. "I forget it's such a stupid name. It's what I get for working here for so long. The owner decided on it, in fact. A private joke, or something. He really likes to answer the phone, though. People usually think they dialed to the wrong place."

"Huh." Too much eye contact. He was starting to get nervous. "It probably doesn't attract much people in, right?"

"Just the curious bystander." He gave Chanyeol a meaningful look. "People who come once usually become regulars, though. Probably the food. Or the cute waiters."

Chanyeol gave him a shy smile, handing back the menu. "We'll see about that."

 

Baekhyun didn't lie. After the first day, Chanyeol started to go to the small restaurant every day, on lunch break. The food was always delicious, a mix of western and eastern cuisine and all kinds of foreign flavors mixing together and tasting nothing short of amazing. He had already met the owner, a blonde dude who smoked way more than what would be considered acceptable and had an amazing set of eyebrows. He was nice, though, in a sarcastic kind of way, and cooked the best meals he'd ever tasted.

He also became acquainted with some of the other regulars; there was Joonmyeon, who always ordered pork ramen and asked Chanyeol about the best way to handle his savings; Jongdae, who always listened to Joonmyeon's blabbering with a smile in his face; Yixing, who always told the owner how the food reminded him of home; Luhan and Minseok, the couple who, for some reason, always ordered dumplings, which left the former giggling and the latter blushing vigorously.

And, of course, there was Baekhyun. Even on the occasional busy day, he'd always make sure to be the one to wait his table. And on the days where the restaurant was deserted, he'd find himself sitting with Chanyeol and they'd talk over the meal. The boy enchanted him. He was funny, and although sometimes he seemed to go on tangents for a long while, or make really corny jokes, Chanyeol didn't mind at all. He found it endearing, really. Which was his first indicator that something was changing drastically in his life.

 

"So.. are you free this weekend?" Baekhyun asked as he sat on the chair across from Chanyeol. "Want to go to the movies, or something?"

Chanyeol stared at him with a blank look.

"Are you asking me out?" That was definitely a first. He was still unsure if it was a prank, but he knew that Baekhyun, despite his bad sense of humor, was way too nice to pull something like that. "As in, on a date?"

"Well, yeah. You don't have to call it that if you don't want to." He was starting to look nervous, playing with the menu.

"I.. don't know. I'm flattered, but. Like. I'm not gay."

"What?" Baekhyun was surprised, to say the least. "Are you sure? Because you looked a lot like you were flirting with me, with all the time we spend together. Jongdae, Luhan and Minseok commented on it too... they actually helped me gather enough courage to talk to you about it. I know I look confident, but I'm too shy to ask anyone out if I'm not positive the answer will be yes. I thought you were waiting for me to make the move."

Chanyeol thought about it. All the time he spent with Baekhyun. Had it really not meant anything? He knew he was able to open himself up a lot more when he was with the shorter boy, and that he felt oddly comfortable around him. And he did like his smile, a lot.

"The thing is... I have never been on a date." He started, speaking slowly and forcing himself to look at the older boy in the eye. That was way out of his comfort zone. "And I never really liked anyone. I said I'm not gay, but the truth is I don't really know. I like you a lot, but I don't know if it's in that kind of way."

The look on Baekhyun's eyes softened, making way to a kind side of the boy he hadn't seen before. A side, Chanyeol thought, that he must only show to the people he truly cared about. It made him want to hold on to it and make sure he'd see it again.

"That's okay." He grabbed the taller boy's hand, holding it softly. "We don't have to go on a date. Let's just hang out, and I can invite more people too. You take things at your pace, no matter how fast or how slow it is. And know that, if you ever think you're ready, I'm here."

A strange feeling emerged from within Chanyeol, something he had never felt before. It was like his chest was about to burst - he was filled with so much happiness and understanding, it couldn't be contained inside of him. It made him want to cry, but those tears would be of joy and more promises to come.

"Thank you." He said on a shaky voice, before feeling the tight embrace of small arms around him.

***

It was a lovely day, his shift had just ended, and Baekhyun decided to admire the flowers outside. He had always loved plants, thinking they brought life to everything, in a way because they were life forms of their own. Flowers that had been cut, though, were a no - they represented death and permanent endings, things he wasn't as fond of.

He leaned on the front door of the restaurant he worked in, as a waiter, feeling the light breeze of a spring afternoon. Looking at the whites, blues and yellows blooming to life right next to him, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Those moments of peace were rare and passed fast, which made them all the more valuable. Ephemeral.

He went inside, with no clue about a tall boy's heart beating faster right outside the restaurant.

 

Baekhyun ended up as waiter not by choice, but he wasn't really resistant either. After finishing college and having no idea of what he wanted to do with his life, his uncle offered a job in his restaurant. It didn't pay much, but was enough for him to live, while creating on his days off. He was an arts major, preferring mostly to draw and design original prints, doodling on napkins on days work was quieter. It gave him time to figure out his future, and he quite liked to talk to costumers and find out more about their lives.

Looking a little nervous, a tall boy with big ears entered the restaurant. It was a slow day, with only Jongdae nodding off on the counter, and Baekhyun made his way to the stranger.

"It probably doesn't attract much people in, right?"

The stranger was cute. Baekhyun wondered if he'd become a regular or never come again; he hoped, honestly, the quirky boy would go with the first option. He wondered his name. Was he out of Baekhyun's league? Would it be an effort gone to waste? Should he just give up now?

"Just the curious bystander." He gave the boy a meaningful look. To hell with shame. On a brave whim, he decided to just be his best cheeky self. "People who come once usually become regulars, though. Probably the food. Or the cute waiters."

The boy gave him a shy smile, handing back the menu. "We'll see about that."

 

The stranger did come back. Baekhyun had, in fact, found out his name, job, age, address, favorite kind of food and fears. The last didn't come easy, or spoken out loud, though - they were fragments, inserted in light stories, a flicker on a smile here, a dark look on his eyes there. Chanyeol didn't talk about his family at all, although he liked to hear about Baekhyun's. He lived alone since he finished high school and was able to afford it, working on two part time jobs while in college. He worked as an accountant on a big firm in the neighborhood. He was 22, the same age as Baekhyun, but a few months younger. And, despite his heart being filled with shadows, when he smiled Baekhyun was sure he could hear a flower coming to life.

They started to spend a lot of time together, with Chanyeol coming to the restaurant almost every day. It didn't go unnoticed by his friends - Baekhyun was just waiting for the first one to start with the teasing, hoping that at least they wouldn't sing lame songs about being in love.

"Baekhyuuuuuun~" Luhan approached him with his melodic voice, while Baekhyun was cleaning tables. The older boy was the lead singer of a indie band, pretty famous on the neighborhood, and sometimes he showed Baekhyun a new song he was composing or writing.

"What is it, hyung?" Baekhyun wondered where Minseok was. When Luhan decided to corner him like that, it sure meant trouble. The Chinese boy at least had the courtesy of being a little more decent when his boyfriend was around.

"Why are you so moody?" He pouted, acting very much like the older one in the conversation. He complained when people told him he looked young or girly, but didn't hesitate at all to act like that. That spontaneity was his charm, though. "Are you mad your boyfriend didn't come here today?"

"Chanyeol is not my boyfriend. If that's what you wanted to talk about, I'm afraid there's not much to say."

"I never mentioned names." Luhan's lips curved in a devilish smile. "You are so obvious, Baek. Why don't you just ask him out? It's pretty obvious he likes you too."

"But what if he doesn't?" Baekhyun stopped cleaning and turned to face Luhan upfront. "He' s never mentioned anything about it. Why would he? My confidence isn't strong enough to handle a no. I won't be able to face him if he comes to the restaurant again, and if he doesn't I'll miss the hell out of him. It's best to just keep things as they are."

"I know the sassy shit is you in character... but I think you really should be more confident in yourself, and especially in the real you." He looked at Baekhyun again, this time with a sparkle in his eyes. "And I have no way of knowing for sure how Chanyeol feels, he's a pretty closed dude.  But let's just say that if Minseok acted like that towards some guy that wasn't me, he'd be in big trouble. It's pretty much how Jongdae acts when he's around Joonmyeon, only less desperate."

"Jongdae's crush is the most obvious thing on the universe, huh?" Baekhyun chuckled.

"Yep. And that's including the human need for oxygen and water."

 

"I.. don't know. I'm flattered, but. Like. I'm not gay."

That was brand new information. Baekhyun never even considered that possibility, not only because of the way the taller boy treated him, but also because, if he'd let himself dream about it, it could at least be a nice fantasy. He didn't want to ruin it with reality and all kinds of things that could go wrong, so he kept it out of his mind. After a while, he'd convinced himself he didn't have to worry about anything. But, apparently, he was mistaken.

His heart sank immediately, the way it does when you find out your parents cancelled the vacation you were looking for all month or that it won't snow that winter. It was a feeling filled with emptiness, in the most paradoxical way possible. He tried to explain his invitation, in an effort to at least not ruin the impression the younger boy had of him.

"The thing is... I have never been on a date." Chanyeol looked just as nervous as he was, voice low and hands fussy. Baekhyun admired the way his gaze stayed locked and firm in his own eyes, though. "And I never really liked anyone. I said I'm not gay, but the truth is I don't really know. I like you a lot, but I don't know if it's in that way."

He melted a little. He could see how the boy was so fragile, showing himself in his most vulnerable way to Baekhyun. He was so earnest and sincere, almost the way a child would be. Baekhyun decided, no matter what, to protect that innocence. To make it last, for as long as he was able to.

"That's okay." He grabbed the taller boy's hand, holding it softly. Chanyeol always looked a bit like a loner, eating alone almost every meal, but he had no idea it was to such an extent . "We don't have to go on a date. Let's just hang out, and I can invite more people too. You take things at your pace, no matter how fast or how slow it is. And know that, if you ever think you're ready, I'm here."

He held Chanyeol tightly, as he felt him shaking by his side. His warmth burned Baekhyun's skin in a way a thousand suns would never be able to.

***

After that day, Chanyeol experienced, for the first time on his life, what having a social life was like, going out almost every weekend. He was always invited by Baekhyun, and they were never alone, but he found himself enjoying it a lot more than he expected to. He was very good at talking to people, as long as he didn't have to go into deep topics. It was the most obvious kind of faking, but people seemed to believe in it, especially since alcohol made everyone much more understanding.

With Baekhyun, he still didn't know what he was supposed to do. The boy had a magnetic kind of attraction, drawing Chanyeol in no matter where they were. He always ended up taking Baekhyun home, and more than once he had stayed over. But making an actual commitment, and being on a relationship, was something else. What he knew from relationships was that people got hurt and went away. And not seeing Baekhyun again was something he wasn't sure he'd be willing to risk.

He had just finished his meal when a familiar face entered the restaurant.

"Hey, Minseok. What's up? Where's Luhan?"

"Hi, Chanyeol!" His face rounded up in a smile. "He was supposed to be here, but the band meeting ran late. They were debating whether 'Beautiful Boy' or 'You're Beautiful' was the best title for the new song. And let me tell you, musicians can be very stubborn when they want to."

"The title.. Luhan wrote this song?"

"Yeah.  He's been working on it for quite some time, actually."

"I am making a guess here, but is it by any chance inspired by you?"

"What?" Minseok's cheeks blushed red, along with his ears and neckline. He was the image of a flustered man. "How did you know?"

"Well, you're very much in love, and if he wanted the name of the song to be 'Beautiful Boy' it wasn't very hard." He smiled in sympathy, finding the situation amusing. Minseok was easy to get along with, and although he had such a young face, he usually acted really manly. It was nice to see this cute side of him.

At that moment, Baekhyun arrived. He seemed curious, looking between Chanyeol and Minseok like he had lost an inside joke.

"Here's the bill." He handed it to Chanyeol, before turning his attention to the older boy. " Why are you so red, Minseok? You look like a tomato."

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything's fine. I want two specials and a portion of dumplings to go, please. And I think I'll wait outside. The air is... fresher. Yeah." He walked out the door, fanning himself frenetically.

"I won't even ask." Baekhyun motioned to go back to the kitchen, stopping for a moment and giving Chanyeol a meaningful look. What it meant, Chanyeol had no idea, but he knew there was something behind it. You can only be a certain amount of clueless.

He found out eventually, in the napkin carefully folded next to the receipt. Inside there was a sketch of himself, eating on his usual table, next to the window and the flowers he had become so fond of. His features were drawn carefully, creating a beautiful pattern on the paper. Even the smoke coming out of his ramen was pictured, such attention and care were taken by the artist. An artist who, once again, managed to make Chanyeol's heart beat so loudly he was sure every single person in the restaurant was able to hear it.

 

It was the usual Friday, Chanyeol was going to the restaurant to have lunch, nothing out of the ordinary. When he opened the door, though, an unexpected scene greeted him.

Baekhyun was chatting enthusiastically with a guy taller than him, who looked very much like a murderer, if only he wasn't whining and hugging Baekhyun from behind. They looked like boyfriends, with Baekhyun trying to wipe the table while the taller boy sprawled on top of him and asked for food.

A feeling emerged from within the depths of his being. It was something raw, angry, and ready to beat someone up if that was needed. He ran, grabbing Baekhyun's hand and yanking him roughly, not stopping until they were outside.

"Who was that you were with?" Chanyeol could feel himself yelling, that raw feeling on his every word, making everything sound harsher and uglier than it was supposed to.

"Are you out of your mind?" A very revolted Baekhyun shouted back at him, his face a mix of disbelief and anger. "Tao is my friend. What the hell are you doing?"

"He didn't look like your friend at all. I don't lay on top of my friends and baby talk. His face was buried so deep in your neck he could be a fucking ostrich."

"That's just how he is with everyone. He is young and spoiled, but he's my friend, and I don't mind! Neither does his boyfriend, if you really want to know."

"You shouldn't let him act like that with you-"

"I don't fucking get it!" The discussion, which had lowered to a more civilized volume, went right back to shouting. Baekhyun was wrathful, his short temper not helping the situation at all. It was a side of him Chanyeol hadn't seen yet simply because he had never given the shorter boy any reason to unleash his anger. "Why are you acting like this? You have no rational reason to be jealous, and even if you had, you have no right. I like you, but if you want me to be yours, you have to do something about it."

Their gazes lingered. _This is it_ , Chanyeol thought, _this is the do or die._ He'd either give up for good or take a chance and see what happened. In a fraction of a second, he'd made his decision.

His chapped lips were warm on top of Baekhyun's.

 

"So they're finally together, huh?" Minseok was chatting with Yixing over a bowl of udon.

"Yep. No one thought he would have the guts, but he did it." The Chinese boy made his best contemplation face, trying to sound profound. "There goes a newborn man."

"Quit the bullshit." He chuckled. "If Jongdae is a man, I'm the freaking Hulk."

"Joonmyeon said the date was quite enjoyable. He told me Jongdae actually bought him flowers, opened the car door, all that crap. Who knew he was actually a gentleman?"

"Yeah.. Can't say the same about you." Minseok looked at Yixing, mildly disgusted, while he slurped the last remains of his soup. "I hope they work out. The number of couples in this restaurant is increasing by the minute. If you're not careful, you might be the next target."

"Heh. I doubt it." He gave the empty bowl a sad smile, before pointing at the door. "Prepare to vomit."

It was Chanyeol coming in, being received by a running Baekhyun. He jumped in the taller boy's arms, giving him a welcome kiss. They were every bit the sappy couple everyone expected them to be, when they weren't teaming up to annoy the living soul out of their chosen prey.

"Do they have to do this every time?"

"I think it's required. Pretty sure it's written in the 'How to be Young and In Love' manual."

 

Chanyeol is an accountant. He sees the world in graphics and theorems, precise lines and sums, but Baekhyun was the one equation he couldn't find the solution for. He was learning, though, that some questions are best left unanswered. And that some mysteries are better than he ever imagined being possible.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Luhan met Minseok in the college dorm - he had been locked out of his room, since his roommate wasn't considerate enough to warn him he wasn't coming back home until morning, bringing the only key with him. As he sat, listening to music on his phone and praying that last green line of energy would last more than half an hour, the boy who lived next door arrived, looking curiously at the figure in the hallway.

"You ok?" The boy had a round face, with chubby cheeks and fairy-like eyes. He was short, but muscular, and had an expression of genuine concern in his face. "You live across the hall, right? I've seen you before. I'm Minseok."

" I'm Luhan, nice to meet you." He got up, shaking the shorter boy's hand. " I'm fine. Would probably be better if I could actually get inside my room, though. My roommate locked me outside."

"That sucks." He patted his pocket, looking for his key. "I hope he comes home soon. I think I could let you in, if you promise you're not a murderer or anything."

"That'd be lovely, thank you a lot." Now Minseok was looking in his backpack, opening and closing compartments somewhat hurriedly. "There's not much to do in the hallway. I kind of get why most philosophers come from Ancient Greece. Thinking is pretty much the only thing to do here."

"I see your point." He said distractedly, patting his pockets once again. "They did other things in Ancient Greece, though."

"I guess. Writing. Poetry." The boy looked frustrated to no end, finally conforming to ringing the doorbell. "Today could be the rise of my career as this century's biggest poet. Nobody will even remember Shakespeare was a thing."

They looked at each other, Luhan with a grin in his face.

"Seems like I'm not the only one locked out of my room, huh?"

Minseok grimaced, before sitting down in resignation.

"Well, at least I'm not alone anymore."

"In Ancient Greece, they used olive oil as lube. That's why it was so popular then. Biggest producers and everything.  I doubt you'd spend your time thinking and writing if you lived there."

It was Luhan's turn to look at the boy, dumbfounded, while he laughed a gummy smile.

"You should see your face right now."

 

An hour later, they were starting to know each other pretty well.

"YOU'RE 20??????? OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS A LIE."

"What are you talking about?" Minseok laughed. "You're also 20."

"Yeah, but you're older than me." Luhan pointed accusingly at him. "And you look twelve. That is so not fair."

"You say that like your man beard gives you such a grown up vibe."

"Shut up. Continue the story. You were talking about how unfair it is that you can't enter a beer drinking contest when you're underage."

 

Two hours later, conversation had developed into a game of questions. It was Minseok's turn to question, and Luhan was quite enjoying seeing the questions the older boy came up with.

"Favorite Movie?"

"The Breakfast Club."

"Ooooh, that's a classic. Favorite colour?"

"Blue."

"Mine too. Favorite subject?

"Does music count? If not, probably PE."

"Athletic, I see.  Favorite animal?"

"Deer."

"Unusual but cute. Favorite band?"

"Probably Green Day. Or something equally as revolted and fun."

"Never would've guessed. You look too hipster-ish for that. Favorite sport?"

"Football."

Minseok's eyes widened.

"We HAVE to play together sometime. I'll come back to that later. Now we're in the middle of something extremely important."

 _Indeed we are_ , was all Luhan could think of.

 

Three hours later, Luhan was not bored anymore. He'd learned quite a lot about Minseok, including the whole family tree of his dogs and his distaste for algebra. He'd also shared his stories, including the time he broke his arm falling from a tree and how scary it had been to first move away from China. They are sitting on opposite ends of the hallway, facing each other. Time really does pass faster when you have someone to share it with, he found out.

They had turned off the artificial light a while ago, and now the moonlight was the only thing making their silhouettes discernible. Not only did the bright white light hurt their eyes, it made the moment feel a lot less meaningful.

"So you want to be famous." Minseok scoffed. " I wouldn't think that, looking at you. You look more like the shy type. People-don't-get-me-but-I-love-what-I-do writer or something."

"I don't want to be famous, that makes me sound like a douche." Luhan played with his hair, trying to find the right words. "It's because, if I want my music to have the effect I wish on people, I need that kind of influence."

"And what is that?"

"What is what?" Minseok's eyes shone through the darkness of the hallway, and Luhan could see himself drowning in that light. The possibility was dangerously close to reality.

"If you don't want to be famous, why would you? Why do you need that? You know, celebrities tend to be quite miserable. They can't do anything they really want to, people judge them no matter what, and all that money usually gets to their head and they flip out."

That made Luhan quiet down. They were getting in those deep areas of wishing, the parts of a dream you never say out loud, with fear they'll lose their magic if you do. He knew the answer to that question, but he wasn't sure he was ready to share that with a boy he didn't know four hours before. It was closing to 2 am, though, and that was the time he was always more honest than when daylight was shining outside. Darkness brought the truth out of him.

"It's not the fame that I want, you know. It's more like-" He struggled to find the right words, after all, he'd never said it out loud. It was something that habituated only the deeper corners of his mind. This time, though, he felt like it was okay to share. His dream wouldn't become any less sacred because of it. "-the ability of expressing myself through a song, and having those feelings acknowledged by strangers screaming them right back at me. Until they are no longer my feelings, but words of a prayer chanted by the crowd. I want every person in that room, at that time, to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves. I want to give people a place to belong."

"...wow."

"What?" Luhan felt a shiver up his spine, the dread of making a miss with someone you were just starting to know. Someone you were starting to really like."Did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I felt like someone just recited poetry to me. And it was beautiful."

 

Four hours later, a wave of fatigue was starting to come, wearing them down. The boys resigned to laying on the floor, Minseok's head on his backpack, Luhan's head in Minseok's stomach. After a few minutes, Luhan started to feel small hands combing through his hair. He closed his eyes.

 

Five hours later, they were singing at the top of their lungs. After going from Lady Gaga to old school Blink-182, passing through the Pokemon theme song and DBSK(that one required a lot of mumbling from Luhan), obviously stopping at Green Day, it was time for a major 2007 throwback.

"WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY" Minseok yelled, "MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY TO SEE A MARCHING BAND"

"HE SAID 'SON WHEN YOU GROW UP" Luhan joined in, at the top of his lungs, "WOULD YOU BE THE SAVIOUR OF THE BROKEN, THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED?'"

They continued for another 5 minutes, with a passionate high note belted at the end. Looking at each other, their throats sore, both breathing heavily, Minseok broke into a smile.

"I cannot believe you know every word of this song."

"Oh, I so do. You should've seen my scene phase. The photos were so bad I'm surprised MySpace didn't take them down."

"Hah!" His laughter was magic, filling the hallway. "Your voice is awesome. You'll be a great singer someday."

"Hey, thanks. You're not bad yourself."

As they sat, air buzzing around them, both minds were busy with the same thoughts. How could someone so great have lived 5 meters away for the past 6 months, and no one ever have warned them? You'd think the universe would be kind enough to give a little heads-up, like, 'Hey man, I know you're busy counting the dots of dirt in the sink, but how about ringing the doorbell of your neighbor? Couldn't hurt. I bet they're pretty cool.' If you think like that, though, maybe they were meant to meet like this. Maybe, today, the universe decided it was time to make some rights in this twisted world.

"Hey. I know that sounds douchey," Luhan started, "but I'm kinda glad you got locked out of your apartment."

"I know," Minseok replied, "I am too."

 

Five and a half hours later, somewhere at the mark of 4 am, a drunken boy staggers to his apartment. The party was still going strong, but he decided he'd injured his dignity enough for one night, puking in front of his crush. Sehun was sure his chances, which were already pretty thin, had completely evaporated that night.

After a very dizzy elevator ride, he arrives at his hallway. He's not sure if it's the alcohol speaking, or the daydreams he has during classes got to a whole new level, but he is positive there are two sleeping boys at his doorstep, leaning on the front door.

He easily identifies the first one as Luhan, his roommate, but Sehun's brain has to do a lot more browsing to locate the face of the one sleeping on his shoulder. After a good couple minutes of intense staring, he faintly remembers a few encounters when getting home or going out, and a polite chubby faced boy entering the place in front of his.

Shrugging, Sehun opens the door, sees the two of them fall into the ground, jumps over the bodies and goes to bed. He really needs to sleep right now.

 

"I know you told me how much of an asshole your roommate was, but I didn't fully believe you." Minseok sleepily told Luhan, while rubbing the back of his head where it hit the floor," I'm genuinely sorry for that right now. And I kind of want to punch him in the face."

"He's too spoiled, I always let him do as he pleases." Luhan yawned, feeling every part of his body weighting down. "Come inside, you can crash on the sofa."

 

The next day, Luhan woke up with the sound of "Toxic" coming from the living room, at a deafening volume.

"OH FUCKING SEHUN"  He yelled while running towards the noise, "WHAT HAVE WE ESTABLISHED ABOUT LISTENING TO BRITNEY BEFORE 2PM?"

"Oh, hyung." He at least had the decency to lower the volume, "But I'm following the rules this time. It's three thirty."

"God. I've really slept a lot." He was scratching his arm when the reason he spent the night awake came back to him, subtle like a punch in the face. "SHIT! Where's Minseok?"

"You mean our neighbor? Nice to finally know his name. He got up a lot earlier than you, and headed home after telling me to give you this." Sehun fumbled his pockets, fishing a very crumpled piece of paper and giving it to Luhan. "Ha. Look. Gum."

Ignoring the younger boy pleased by his newfound washed-seven-times-three-months-old-twenty-five-cents-gas-station-gum, he picked up the paper, straightening it with his hand until it was legible. Minseok's handwriting was very neat, and the message wasn't very long.

_Hey, I woke up but you're still asleep and I didn't want to bother. I'll leave this with the asshole of your roommate. I ended up really enjoying last night, Luhan, and I hope we can get to know each other better. I know a great restaurant downtown, want to grab dinner? I hope you're awake by then. Give me a call! xoxo_

_9973-8884-2753 :)_

Luhan picked up his cellphone immediately, dialing the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Luhan. Dinner tonight sounds great."

"Oh, I'm relieved. I was starting to get worried you'd sleep until evening."

"Ha, I probably would've, but Sehun woke me up. I've got to thank him for this one."

"Surprisingly so. Is 7 good for you? I can pick you up at home. I'll do the sacrifice."

"My hero." Luhan chuckled, "What's the place called?"

"The name is actually pretty stupid, but the food is great and I'm friends with the waiter. I'm sure you'll like it too. It's The Shitty Restaurant."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suchen's story! I hope you enjoy it :)

"So, if you examine carefully, you'll realize that an extra spoon of cream will not only give the topping the texture we want, but it'll also make it tastier, so it's really not much of a choice-"

There he was again, talking his heart out. Jongdae had lost what the subject was about 10 minutes ago, but he didn't care. Just sitting so close to Joonmyeon, and listening to his melodic voice, was more than enough. Obviously, if he had to answer something, he'd be in big trouble, but experience told him, more often than not, that wasn't the case.

"There is a really big controversy in the patisserie industry regarding the traditional/innovative method, so you can see why that extra spoon would be such a big problem, but I don't think it should matter so much. After all, it's really delicious, and-"

Giving a nod to encourage the older boy, he started to recall their first date. It seemed so long ago that he had the courage to ask him out, and it seemed like such an impossible task at the time. Joonmyeon hadn't changed much, since they always settled in this talker - listener pattern, but some things did change. Like their hands intertwined together under of the table. How it had become natural to search on Joonmyeon's wardrobe for his lost undershirts. They way he looked at the older boy like he was the most precious thing on earth, but this time he knew he was looking right back.

"Of course, you have to consider the calories. You can't be fit if you just add an extra spoon of cream on everything. But, you see, it is a very subtle detail - it gives the cake that extra bit of moisture, and creates a better look on the plate overall. Definitely, the cream should go in. God, thanks for listening, Jongdae. I always solve things better when I discuss them with you."

"I'm flattered I could be of some help. You know I love to hear you talk."

"Still, it must get boring after awhile." He chuckled, drinking some water. "Let's order?"

"Of course! BAEKHYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

A very annoyed waiter came, giving Jongdae a look that could probably murder a family of puppies.

"If we weren't in my workplace, you'd be dead already." He hissed, trying to sound intimidating while looking accommodating, after all, his boss was looking. The result was frightening. "You knew I was right beside you, there was no need to deafen me."

"Luckily, you can't kill me here. Why do you think we always come to this restaurant? The food is great, but annoying you with no witty replies is definitely the best thing. Two specials and a milk shake, please. If you have two heart shaped straws  they would be more than welcome."

"You're gross. It'll take 15 minutes."

He turned back to his boyfriend, only to find a laughing Joonmyeon.

"You're terrible, you know that?"

"And you love it."

"It's true, I do."

Jongdae could feel his cheeks burning. How come being in love was so exhausting? He felt like he'd been in a marathon since the very first time he saw Kim Joonmyeon, sipping his kimchi soup on the balcony of a shabby restaurant. He knew he was done for, and he'd loved every minute of it. Well, most of it, anyways. Nothing can ever be perfect. It came real close, though.

"Do you remember our first date? Me finally finding the guts to ask you out. The Ferris wheel. That really weird brat. I wonder what he's doing now."

"God, of course!" Joonmyeon clapped his hands in joy. " I actually keep in touch with him. Seems he's dating a boy from his dance class and very happy about it. And he's still having a really hard time in algebra. I help him every Tuesday."

Jongdae looked at him for a moment, letting that sink in. His boyfriend really was something else.

"You're out of this world, Joonmyeon."

***

It hadn't been an easy task, their first date. Not only did he need to find the perfect breach in the conversation, he had used just about every inch of courage he had available in his body. Which wasn't a very big one to begin with.

He knew that, if he was going to do it, it had to be just right. No half assing this time (He wasn't a jock like his roommate, or the best student of his class,  but his ability to write drunken papers on college had earned him quite a fanbase), no matter what. He wanted to be serious about it, since it was the first time he fell this hard for someone.

After asking Joonmyeon out - he was a nervous wreck - Jongdae started to plan their date. Picking him up was a must, obviously, but what kind of flowers would he bring? They'd go on an amusement park, since any restaurant would feel too formal, compared to the one they always went to. Wearing a tie could be considered informal, right? He didn't know what kind of guys Joonmyeon was into, but he was decided to be the perfect gentlemen.

Ditching the tie after all, and settling for a bouquet of yellow, orange and red tulips (the florist told him that, in Victorian Flower Language, they meant a declaration of love - Jongdae found it quite fitting), he was finally at Joonmyeon's house. Making sure his hair was on place, and cleaning the imaginary dust on his shirt one last time, he rang the doorbell.

An angel opened the door. With an white shirt and blond hair framing his pure face, Joonmyeon looked like a being sent from heaven. Which probably wouldn't be such a stretch from reality, if you think about it. He's probably from the hot dads department.

"Hey, you're here. I'm ready to go." Looking at the flowers, he blushed. "Are those for me?"

"Yes, they are. Here, I hope you like them." He handed the bouquet to the boy who suddenly looked very shy, admiring the arrangement.

"I do, they're beautiful." Lowering his voice, he said, before bolting inside the apartment, " it's the first time someone gave me flowers. I'll put them in a jar and be right back."

When he came back out, Jongdae was waiting holding the door of the car open.

"You're too nice. You don't need to do that for me."

"I want to." They locked eyes for a moment, before Joonmyeon carefully entered the car.

"I wasn't expecting all that, you know? It's very nice of you, I don't feel like I deserve it. Especially on a first date."

'Oh, but you do. Of course you do." He hit the steering wheel in objection. "That's the least I can do - if any of those small things gave you any kind of happiness, I'd do them over and over and over again. It's really nothing, compared to your smile. Believe me."

"I'll try to."

 

The date was going great. They went to a few rides, had ice cream together, bought matching silly hats. It was on the line for the carousel that things started to turn strange.

"I'm sorry." A voice came from behind them, "I can't see through your blinding happiness. Can you please be disgustingly in love somewhere else?"

"What?" Jongdae couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Turning around to face the owner of the unhappy voice, he saw a tall blonde guy, probably still in his teens, looking awfully miserable for someone in an amusement park.

"You're annoying me."

"You little-" Jongdae was ready to start a discussion with the brat, even taking off his new moose hat, before Joonmyeon placed a hand on his chest and stepped forward.

"What's bothering you? We're not doing anything wrong, you know."

"Yeah, I do." The dude started to pout, acting more like a kicked puppy by the minute. "It's just that- you being so happy reminds me of how single and pathetically lonely I am. It doesn't help that my friend ditched me to go ride the love tunnel with his boyfriend. I'll kick his sorry ass when he comes back."

"Oh, you're lonely?" Joonmyeon had a understanding face, like he sympathized with the impolite stranger. "I know what you mean, I used get that feeling all the time in high school. And that no one understood me."

"You feel that too??" The boy's eyes widened, "God, it's so hard, because no matter what I do, people just don't get stuff. My math teacher always says I just have to study harder, but it's not like I don't try my best already. And my parents keep saying the same thing, with that judgmental look in their faces."

"Do you want to sit somewhere, talk about it?" The tall boy was on the verge of tears, and Joonmyeon, despite his fame, was actually a pretty good listener.

"Yeah. That'd be nice." He cleaned his nose on the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm Sehun, by the way."

"Joonmyeon. Nice to meet you. You were saying you're not very good at math?" He guided Sehun to an empty bench, leaving a very dumfounded Jongdae standing in the line. "Wait just a little bit-" He turned around, "Jongdae! You're not coming?"

 

That his perfect date would turn into a life advice session with a prepubescent teen was way out of Jongdae's prediction zone; they talked for at least one hour, and he had the chance to hear everything he didn't want to know about the boy's school, family, friends, and (lack of) love life. Joonmyeon, on the other hand, was pretty supportive, giving advice and asking relevant questions - which Jongdae would never have thought of in the first place. Turns out it's much better to hear incessant talking when it comes from your long-time crush. The rest just makes you want to puke.

 When Sehun's friends arrived, he was relieved, to say the least.

"Kim Jongin, you're the scum of humanity." He jumped from his seat, poking his finger in the face of the stranger. "The very dirt I walk in is made of your conscience. I don't even know why I'm friends with you."

The tanned boy gave him a blank look.

"Because you're a drama queen and I just don't have time to hear all of your bullcrap." He put his arm around the waist of the other boy, who was looking mildly uncomfortable but not entirely unaccustomed to this exchange. "I told you it's going to be fine. I'm going to fix you up with one of Kyungsoo's friends, we'll find you a math tutor, and you'll take your driver's license next year. Stop freaking out because we wanted some alone time."

Sehun felt like he'd lost that argument. He was much better after the conversation from that afternoon, after all, and could probably even endure his best friend being the sappiest fucker ever when in love.

"Well, you have a point. I think I can forgive you if you buy me, like, 3 hot dogs."

"It's a deal. Let's go, I'm dying to punch some paint balls in your face."

They started to leave, when Sehun stopped abruptly and ran back towards Joonmyeon.

"Hey, your advice was... pretty okay. Thanks for listening."

"It was my pleasure. Don't forget, you can call me anytime."

The boy gave him a small smile and went back to his friends.

"He's not so bad, after all." Jongdae smiled, "Just a bit of a troubled kid."

"AND JONGDAE, I HOPE YOU GET LUCKY TONIGHT!"

"I take it back I TAKE IT FUCKING BACK."

 

The rest of the date went normally. They enjoyed the rides, took pictures, and talked a lot. Though they were already friends, that was a different way of getting to know someone. Joonmyeon wanted to pay attention to the details he'd never looked twice before. That little mole on Jongdae's back, or the way he liked to protect him, walking on the crowded side of the street.

It was the very end of the day, and they had agreed that their last ride would be the Ferris wheel. The atmosphere was romantic, and Jongdae finally started to think that the date had worked out well. Maybe not perfect, but that's too much to ask for. As they went higher and higher, seeing the beautiful city full of lights, a peaceful feeling settled in.

That is, until they stopped moving entirely.

It was an abrupt stop, happening when they were at the very top of the wheel. They heard confused people and a fuss in the ground, where a man stood next to the control panel, yelling that "they were going through technical difficulties, but the wheel would move again in about 10 minutes."

"Well, that's unpleasant." Joonmyeon was starting to look very uncomfortable, holding tightly the metal bar next to him.

"Are you... scared?" Jongdae looked at him worriedly. "I mean, if you're afraid of heights, you could've said so, we didn't have to go to this ride."

"That's not it." The older boy breathed carefully, in and out. "I'm just a bit claustrophobic. And we're really high up. With no way out whatsoever."

"It's going to be alright, they'll fix it fast. When you least expect it, your feet will be walking on the ground again."

"Heh.  I hope you're right." He let out a nervous laugh. Jongdae couldn't stand seeing him like this; he wanted to make all things bad go away, but he had absolutely no idea how to do that.

A tiny spark flared in his brain. Maybe it would work.

"Close your eyes."

He took Joonmyeon's hand, squeezing it lightly, and began to sing. It was a song filled with a nostalgic feeling, talking about a forgotten diary and a boy who never grew old. It worked, calming him down, and when the wheel started to spin again, neither of them noticed.

 

"So it was delightful. I mean, completely unexpected, especially with everything that happened... but I really enjoyed it."

Joonmyeon and Yixing were having a chat over a plate of sashimi; his date with Jongdae was obviously the talk of the restaurant. When he arrived, Baekhyun gave him a knowing look, making immature kissing noises, like he obviously would. You'd think they never left the third grade. Yixing, on the other hand, had a more straightforward method, pulling the chair next to his and inviting Joonmyeon to a meal.

"That is so great, Joonmyeon. We were all cheering for you two. You know, it's been a long time coming, with Jongdae's crush and everything..."

"What crush?"

Yixing stopped his hashis on the way to the raw fish.

"What do you mean, 'What crush?'" He looked at Joonmyeon with disbelief. Trust the boy to be dense as a brick. "Jongdae has had the biggest crush of the century on you, for, like... so long I can't even remember a time he didn't like you."

Joonmyeon was now red like a tomato, looking positively embarrassed.

"I didn't know that. I just thought he liked me as a friend." Taking a sip of water, he decided to change the topic of the conversation, "What about you, though? I haven't forgotten what you told me. And I know it's complicated, but I'm here for you if you want to talk."

"It's not complicated." Yixing spoke with a mouth full of fish, in a way that you could clearly see everything inside. Not the best table manners, you could say. "He's completely in love with someone else. It's pretty simple, actually."

At that moment, Jongdae entered the restaurant. His conversation forgotten, Joonmyeon could only be pulled by the younger boy's gaze, feeling the butterflies soar high in his stomach. That was the beginning, he knew, of something extraordinary.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yixing's chapter is very dear to me, i hope you'll enjoy it! if you have any comments, I always love to read them! ^^

Moving wasn't fun at all. Yixing had already taken all his stuff to the soon-to-be-his room, and there wasn't much else to do. He could start to assemble things, but he wasn't really in the mood. Yixing was still bummed about moving houses, let alone countries. It was so far away from his friends! And his school! And his family! His parents told him he'd get used to it soon, but he wasn't looking forward to it.

The boy sat, pouting, on the sidewalk. They were moving due to his father's job, since a position higher than the one he was working in opened up in America, requiring fluent Chinese. He was accepted immediately, and within a month Yixing's whole life had gone upside down.

School was starting Monday - just the thought made him frown deeper. It wasn't enough that he didn't know anyone in his new school, he was also advanced a year. It seemed his school in China made him ahead of his year; it was a small school, and the teachers went along with the students' pace. Like he needed anything else to make him look like an outsider. He considered how far a 8 year old could run before someone found him. Maybe he could reach China? That'd be a solution.

Interrupting the moment of mourning for his old life, Yixing heard a voice singing. It was a child, just like him, but pretty melodic. You could see the person had talent. He followed the sound, leading him to his neighbor's backyard. There, he saw a boy about his age, with a karaoke machine in front of him, singing happily to a ballad tune.

The boy was cute. Big cheeks and straight black hair, he was dancing softly to the tune, completely immersed in his own world. The song was something in a language Yixing couldn't quite understand, but it felt familiar from listening it on tv from time to time.

"Hey. You sing really well."

The boy was startled, turning abruptly and facing Yixing. He looked uncomfortable, like he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Yixing." He explained shyly, "I just moved to the house next door."

"I'm Minseok. Your name sounds... different."

"It's Chinese."

There was a moment of silence, where they looked at each other. Analyzing the situation. Studying their surroundings. Looking at the stranger in front of them. Wondering what kind of change would that person bring to their lives, if any at all.

"You want to sing with me?" Minseok offered, taking another microphone from behind the TV.

"Thanks." He hesitated. "Could I dance instead? I like it better."

"Sure, it's your call. I'll sing something exciting next, then. Let's see how well you can dance."

They played a few songs, before sitting down for a rest.

"You said you were new here, right? How old are you?"

"I'm 8."

"Heh." A cheeky grin spread in Minseok's face. "I'm 9. Older than you, so you have to respect me."

"I bet we are in the same class, though." Yixing frowned. "I skipped a year."

"That's cool." His eyes widened. "You must be really smart."

"Not really." Yixing shrugged, looking at the ground. He wasn't outstanding, he just learned things in a different way.

They looked at each other. Minseok was extremely curious about the stranger - someone from a faraway land, probably full of mysterious stories, living right next to him. Wouldn't be so bad to make a new friend.

"Hey, about what we're doing here; you'll probably understand it later, but don't tell anyone, okay? Promise me."

"I promise."

"Great." Minseok smiled sweetly, extending his hand to help his friend get up. " Let's sing another one, then."

That was the time Yixing decided change wasn't so bad after all.

 

Yixing had learned a lot about Minseok. His grandparents were Korean, but his father and mother were born in the USA, and so was he. Their visits to Korea were frequent, at least twice a year, since they still had family there. His father was quite strict; he wanted Minseok to become a lawyer since he was born, and he wouldn't tolerate any kind of distractions. Music was only allowed in his house in the instrumental form - which he actually learned to appreciate a lot, though he still missed singing - and the karaoke player was a gift from the old lady who lived on the very end of the street. She was nice, and they sometimes visited to hear her stories and eat candy.

The  expectations on top of him had made Minseok's life quite restricted, making summer vacation had become the best time of the year. Violin practice was over, there was no French class, he could sleep until late morning. He enjoyed singing when no one was home, climbing trees on the backyard and reading on the balcony. Those were lazy days, filled with weightless thoughts. On the summer prior to 4th grade, a Chinese boy moved to the house next to him, making them suddenly full of exciting plans and silky ideas.

"We'll be superstars." Yixing was moving his arms wildly, "The most famous duo in the entire universe. Aliens will tune in to Earthian TV just to watch me dance and you sing. And we'll be able to eat candy whenever we want."

"WOW. That's so wild. Can you imagine how amazing? A whole bag of marshmallows before dinner... BETTER! Instead of dinner."

Minseok couldn't conceive a better idea. To be successful without all that responsibility weighting his shoulders- to have freedom and be able to do whatever he wanted. It was the most bitter kind of dream, for he knew it'd never turn into reality.

"Want to try and get started on that plan right now? We have some in our pantry. I'm pretty sure Chinese marshmallows are the same as Korean and American ones."

"Yixing, you're a genius."

 

"Hey, did you finish Mrs. Winter math homework?"

Yixing turned around. He was seated in his desk, doing the previously mentioned homework, while Minseok entered his room. Through the window.

"You really need to stop doing this. One day you'll fall, and it's high up here."

Taking off a few wandering leaves from his hair, Minseok sat on the bed.

"I'm the master of climbing trees. You know I never fall."

"Yeah, right." Yixing sneered. "If you have the French homework, we can trade. It's not fair, you already know everything they teach, having a private professor and everything."

" _Pas mon problème._ " He took out a neatly kept sheet from his backpack, while Yixing handed him a completely crushed one. "Don't you have a briefcase?"

"I did, but I used it as a makeshift home for the birds living in that very tree you just climbed. There was a thunderstorm so violent, it destroyed their nest. You can see the remaining yellow plastic if you look hard enough. It was never of much use, anyway."

Minseok let out a laugh in disbelief. If there was something he'd bet Yixing would do, that was it. Still, he never truly believed there could be someone this kind in the world until he experienced the existence of his best friend. The boy never failed in restoring his faith in humankind.

"You're too nice. I have to control myself not to take advantage of you. You'd probably let me stay in your room for a week and live off protein bars and potato chips if I asked nicely."

"Well," Yixing smiled, "if you really needed it..."

 

Yixing and Minseok remained extremely close all through Middle School; not a day would pass by in which they wouldn't see or at least speak to each other. During Minseok's frequent trips to Korea, they Skyped frequently, keeping each other updated. And on the time Yixing's family managed to visit China, Minseok felt every minute of those 3 weeks drag like a slug. They survived their first kiss (Minseok's under the green umbrella tree of their neighbourhood, in 6th grade; Yixing's a year later, on the bleachers of their school's football field.), their first fistfight (over a superhero figurine), the first time Yixing failed a test (it still hadn't happened to Minseok), the growth of the first permanent tooth.

Their transition to High School was a bit troubled, though. They started hanging out with different crowds, and Minseok was enjoying his newfound freedom in every way possible. Being a highschooler didn't mean he was allowed to come home later, but it did mean he had found new ways to go out unnoticed. Meanwhile, Yixing entered the drama club and got more into dancing; he choreographed the school musicals every year. They were still friends, and frequented each other houses, but Yixing preferred watching a movie at home rather than going out on a Friday night.

Growing up isn't gentle, after all. Until you find yourself, your knees will get bloody time and time again. Some realize that on a quiet Wednesday, when you accidentally cut your finger flipping the page of the book you're reading. Others, at 3 AM, on the back of a pickup truck, riding to some place they can't even remember the name.

 

Yixing was starting to regret coming to this party; Minseok had insisted so much the whole week that he finally gave in, but he couldn't help but feel like he was sticking out, holding a untouched cup of beer, looking for his friend in the middle of the crowd. Recently, he'd had his growth spurt, so he could at least look on top of some heads to try and find Minseok. It didn't help that his friend was still quite short - on the days he showed up on school wearing an oversized hoodie and jeans, he looked nine.

Not today, though. Today, he went to Minseok's house before the party, and watched as the boy applied layer after layer of black eyeliner, trying his hardest to look grown up. After he was done, Yixing could barely recognize his best friend; it really was like a different person lived the wild nightlife, while the well-behaved son was getting straight As on his report card. Yixing's parents knew where they were going to be, but while Minseok always told his mother the truth, his father believed him to be fast asleep in his room.

He pushed through the crowd, going to the backyard. It was some kid's house, whose parents weren't home, and the winery was obviously open. The most cliché party you could find, if you were looking for one. It didn't seem to matter to any of the people in it, while they pulsed to the beat of the song. He looked at the couples making out in the grass, the people who were already drunk and vomiting, the ones passed out in the porch. Trying to find his best friend among this curious cluster of people, he identified a familiar mass of bright orange hair in the last category.

"Hey. Minseok. Wake up, I'm taking you home."

He slapped lightly Minseok's cheeks, until the older boy opened his eyes the slightest.

"Heh. Heheh. You can't do that, silly. You're 15."

Yixing rolled his eyes. _Of course_ drunk Minseok would care about the rules.

"Yes, but I know how to drive, and this is an emergency. It'll be our secret, okay? No one has to know."

"A shecret?" Minseok looked more alert now, "I don't like shecrets. They weight you heavy and heavier and heavieeer, until you..." he dropped his hands on the ground, "fall."

"Yes, but this one is necessary, otherwise your parents are going to kill you. And I wouldn't like to see my best friend not even finishing high school."

Minseok turned his face, looking straight at Yixing.

"I'm your besht friend?"

"Well, of course. That's a given."

"You're my beshtest friend too." He smiled widely, that gummy smile that showed how happy he really was. "And that's a very very very lot."

"Thanks, Minseok, you know that means a lot to me too." Yixing smiled warmly back, stroking the orange hair gingerly.

He managed to bring the older boy to his car and drive them to their street. After parking the car, Minseok, who had been asleep the whole ride, spoke suddenly.

"Yixing, I'm keeping your shecret, right? That you rode the car today. You shouldn't be doing that, right? You trust me, right?"

"Yes, it's true, and I do trust you not to say anything. I could get in trouble, and I've been saving up to buy those speakers I've wanted for months."

"I'm gonna to trust you too. Yeah. But you can't say anything. Ever. To no one."

Yixing stopped fussing with the car panel and turned his head to look seriously at Minseok.

"You have something you want to tell me?"

"Yesh. And it'sportant.

"What is it?"

"You promise not to tell?" Minseok's eyes cleared up a little; he could still be completely smashed, but that was a rational part of him speaking. He was serious about this.

"I promise."

"Well, you see..." He looked down, squeezing his hands, "I. Kind of. Like boys? Like. To kiss. I want to kiss boys. I did kiss boys. And I liked it. And I want to do it again. Forever."

"So... you're gay?" Yixing was processing the information. He was always a bit slow to notice things, but he thought he would've known something like that. Or rather, he should've known. He was starting to realize how apart they'd grow over the past years - they were still in Sophomore year, though, and there was plenty of time to reclaim what they'd lost.

"Well, yeah. Kind of. A lot." He was looking extremely nervous, covering his hand with the ends of his sleeve over and over again. Minseok had never looked smaller or more fragile, making Yixing want to protect him from all the pain and fear in the world. "You.... Do you hate me now?"

"What? Of course not! I could never hate you!" He couldn't believe such a thought could even pass through Minseok's mind. "That doesn't change anything, but the fact that now you'll introduce me to your boyfriends, rather than your girlfriends. I'm completely ok with it."

"Really? You're not disgusted or anything?" The look in Minseok's eyes was euphoric; he was so relieved, he jumped from his seat, hugging Yixing tight. "God, you're the best. Really, the best."

"I just want you to be happy, Minseok." Yixing returned the hug, putting his arms around Minseok's small frame, before feeling it starting to shake. The older boy had started to cry.

"I'm just so relieved, because... _sniff_... you know how it is at home, father isn't going to accept it. And I guess," He cleaned his nose with his sleeve, "I just needed someone to tell me it's okay. I was starting to go crazy, having to pretend to everyone... And I was so scared you wouldn't understand, _sniff_ , it was eating me alive. Thank you, Yixing."

"I'll always be here for you," Yixing made sure to hug Minseok tighter. He had no guarantee the boy wouldn't break if he let go. "Always."

 

Tomorrow was the big day. They'd be leaving for college - 4 years of trying, and probably failing, at finding yourself. Minseok was obviously accepted everywhere he applied, but chose to go to the same uni as Yixing. He wanted the familiarity of at least one person, in a completely new world to both. Yixing was going to study arts, though, so they'd be at different buildings. Minseok, studying to be a lawyer, would also need to find a roommate to live with.

The decision had come as a bit of a surprise to Yixing, since Minseok was always reluctant to do as his father wanted him to. But he actually liked law, so it was only a matter of admitting it would be the best for him, and letting go of his stubbornness. Also, if he wanted to come out anytime soon, it would be better to be on good terms with his family.

Minseok's mother already knew, and she'd been nothing but understanding. It was a relief to the boy, who was already comfortable enough with his identity to be open with his friends.

Yixing had started to feel pretty awkward around Minseok lately. Not when they were chatting, playing basketball or singing and dancing together. But on those rare moments of vulnerability, in the middle of the night, when they were truly honest with one another, more than once had Yixing caught himself wanting to reach closer and kiss Minseok. He never did, though. That'd make things weird, and he didn't need that. After realizing how close he'd been to losing his best friend, he made sure to be nothing but cautious from that moment on.

He was able to put it aside, enjoy his freshman year like any other college student would, even dating a classmate for a short while. Getting good grades, maintaining a social circle and actually sleeping was enough to worry about. But that little doubt remained in the corners of his mind, where he kept his darkest fears and deepest desires.

 

It grew. As Yixing watched Minseok kiss a random boy, pressing him on the wall of the club they were in, both intoxicated and needy, he was sure it wasn't a doubt anymore. The burning feeling that spread through all his body made Yixing sure it was much more than that. He clenched his fist, trying to control the urge to yank Minseok from the stranger and place himself there. Oh, how he wished he could be the one kissing those sugar lips, instead of the undeserving punk. The person probably didn't even know Minseok's last name, let alone the name of the cactus he had for 3 weeks during junior year. He wasn't worthy of being kissed by him.

He had fallen, hard. It was just a matter of admitting it to himself.

 

They were out in the city on a weekend, trying to find a restaurant Minseok's friend worked in. Yixing had also met him once - a chatty boy, pretty funny, who seemed be much more than he showed in the surface - and it was enough to like him. He had told them the food was out-of-this-world-you-won't-believe-it-until-you-taste-it good, so they were looking forward to it. It didn't help that the place was in a nook of the city so deep in the labyrinth of houses and buildings, you'll wouldn't be able to find the restaurant unless you were looking for it. Or apparently, even if you were.

Yixing held the hand-drawn map Baekhyun had given them, squinting at the piece of paper. It was a mess, a series of smudges on a paper ending on a bright red X.

"If we depend on this to get to the restaurant, I think we're going to be lost forever." Minseok was starting to lose his patience - the boy had never functioned well when hungry. Give him a sandwich, and he'll be happy in the middle of the jungle. Make him starve on a palace, and he'll yell at someone until he finds a way out.

"Hang on." Yixing bit his lower lip in concentration, "I'm trying to figure out if smudge number 4 is supposed to be a tree or a sauna house."

"Ugh." Minseok sat on the sidewalk, sighing in frustration, "Just kill me now. I've always thought a fast death seemed better than starvation."

Yixing sat next to him, deep in thought.

_Do you want to talk about starvation? Okay, let's go down that road. Having an unrequited love is such a tiring condition. My love isn't skinny. It is anorexic. I give and give and give myself so much that I wonder if, one day, I'll look and realize there is nothing left. My love will bruise with every laugh you throw at my direction, and your smile will make it exhausted from the lack of nutrients. I know they aren't directed at me, and that only makes the bones show even more clearly._

"Hey."  They looked up at the stranger in front of them. A boy about their age, blonde bleached hair and a cat-like smile, "I was passing by and you seemed to be looking at that map for quite some time... Do you need help? I live nearby."

"Sure!" Yixing shot up, smiling at the God-sent-miracle, "We're looking for..." He stopped for a moment, embarrassed, realizing how awkward it would get if the boy didn't know what he was talking about, "...The Shitty Restaurant. Do you know where it is?"

The stranger grinned slyly, puffing his chest.

"Of course. In fact, that's where I was headed. Follow me! Pleased to meet you, I'm Jongdae."

 

"I met someone, Yixing. It's the kind of thing I thought only existed in movies. In fact, I feel like I might wake up right now, because it's just too perfect."

_Don't tell me that so easily. Can't you see how you're breaking me from the inside?_

"That's great, Minseok." He was used to this voice by now - it was the one that came out when he didn't want to admit he disliked something. Luckily, Minseok wouldn't notice it over the phone. "Want to tell me more over lunch, maybe?"

"Of course! And I'll bring him. I can't wait for you two to meet. I'm sure you'll hit it off."

_I don't want to see him. Ever. Make him disappear._

"Awesome. Is 1pm good for you?"                                                              

"Yep. See you there, at the usual place."

 

He met Luhan. The boy was Chinese, to top it all off. As if being the object of Minseok's affection wasn't enough to beat Yixing's heart up. Oh, no, let's pulverize the poor thing until it can no longer lift itself from the ground.

He looked like he'd come right out of a fairytale. Prince Charming, voice of honey, the son-in-law you'd love to introduce to your mother. Yixing had entered the restaurant determined to hate Luhan; he'd come in, enumerate every single flaw he could find on the boy and point them out to Minseok, who'd then proceed with the breakup because that guy obviously wasn't worth his time.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

That Minseok was head over heels for him, Yixing knew. He'd said it himself. What Yixing wasn't expecting was Luhan, and how perceptible it was in every movement of his - the way he looked at Minseok when he was talking, or how he kept looking for reasons to touch him (not even in a sexual way, but more of a 'I want to be closer to you' way), it all showed the feeling was mutual. He was every bit as in love with Minseok as he could be. They could be truly happy.

And Yixing had decided he wasn't going to be the one to destroy that.

 

"Wait. " Luhan dropped his cutlery in his plate, goggled eyes looking at Joonmyeon, "So you're telling me the older guy who had been tutoring Sehun, my cousin, who has lived with me for the past 4 years, is YOU????"

Joonmyeon giggled.

"Well, isn't the world small. Who'd say? Yes, it's me. You have a really nice couch, by the way."

"But," Luhan looked like he was trying to solve a faulty Rubik's cube, "How is it possible? You've been going to my house for months, and I've never seen you there?"

"Sehun told me his roommate was, in his words, 'So fucking in love he couldn't afford to sleep in his own bed anymore if it meant being more than 3 meters away from his boyfriend', so that's probably the reason."

"You've talked about me?? Oh my god." Luhan covered his face with his hands, trying to conceal his embarrassment, "That is so weird. He should've told me."

"He's never talked about me with you?" Joonmyeon chewed a dumpling - those were actually pretty tasty. Not good enough to justify Luhan's obsession, but pretty good.

"He told me," Luhan made a expressionless face, trying his best to mimic Sehun's voice, "'I met a really hot guy in the amusement park. He's going to tutor me from now on. Too bad he has a boyfriend, I could smack that ass.' That's about all the information he gave me."

"Oh." Now it was Joonmyeon's turn to redden - he could feel his cheeks and ears getting hot, "I think we might need to have a talk next time I go there. No wonder he wasn't learning polynomials."

 

It wasn't always easy, living in Korea. The country had been his home for long enough to feel like it; and yet, it was never completely right. The times he slipped on pronunciation, or the barbecue he usually enjoyed so much wouldn't go down his throat, were when Yixing knew he was homesick. It wasn't something you could really predict, or know when it would end. He'd just get this hole in his stomach that, sometimes, stayed for weeks.

What he liked to do was order Chinese food and call Minseok. The former was never really accurate, the spices still tasting foreign and unlike his mother's cooking. But it was good enough, better than the indigestible grub he made on his kitchen; the latter, though, never disappointed. Minseok seemed to know the way to Yixing's heart, coming for the night with a movie from their childhood and his own chopsticks, asking what he had ordered that time.

When Yixing felt empty, living in a place he didn't belong, Minseok was his home.

 

"You must really hate Luhan, don't you?"

Yixing looked at where the happy couple sat, enjoying their meal. Luhan must've told the funniest joke ever, because Minseok was nearly falling out of his chair. Knowing them, though, it could have been the most trivial of things - they had never needed much to be happy. Just being around each other was more than enough.

Minseok's smile was like that of an angel - and it was all because of Luhan.

"Well... not really. After all, he makes Minseok happy. If I'm not the one doing it, I've got no one to blame but myself."

"God, that's sad. " Joonmyeon slurped his pasta slowly, thinking. "How do you deal with that?"

"I endure." Yixing replied calmly, "I've chosen not to say anything to Minseok. It's my fault that it turned out this way. I simply have to live with the consequences of my choices."

"Do you think it would be better if you lived next door? Like, if you weren't the best friend, but the neighbor who forgot the key."

"That'd never work out. I am too nice. Minseok said that himself to me, once. I do things the right way - always. If it was me, I wouldn't have forgotten the key. I would've entered my room and left the love of my life sitting in the hallway. The magical night where people meet and fall in love because destiny just wanted them to, oh so bad? I don't know that shit, because I wouldn't have messed up in the first place. To earn any kind of sympathy from the universe, you need to be at least a little bit of a underdog. I have learned my whole life to follow things just the way they are supposed to be, so I'll never have that. Minseok has it - he spent his entire adolescence learning to bend the rules and escape authority. Luhan is a rogue musician, trying to live with what he earns from a garage band. They have it. I don't. I've accepted it."

"I don't think you're being fair." Joonmyeon now wisely chewed the mushroom, "Or giving yourself the credit you deserve, as well. I always have followed the rules and, somehow, a ball of energy and love called Jongdae found its way to me. You're being too black on white; don't forget grey can also be an option."

 

Yixing had started to like change when he was 8; he enjoyed the way the world could make things so different in such a short period of time. That day, he learned how good it could be, and how new things could be seen as little miracles of life. It gave him a sense of moving, that he was doing something worthy with his life. There was just one thing that he hadn't liked when it changed, not at all, not even a little - when he'd stopped being the light in Minseok's eyes, only to find another Chinese boy imprinted there.

 

Unrequited love is funny; even if you receive something back, it's never satisfactory, because you know it doesn't mean as much to the other person as it meant to you. You don't realize my heart isn't something to be messed with; it is a fragile thing, released into a wild world, fated to be beaten until it learns to doubt everything that moves.

Being brokenhearted is kind of a collective feeling. Every single person whose love isn't requited feels the same; and all that hurt, all that sorrow, all that resentment, it all goes to feed the pages and songs of artists everywhere. That's why, when you love someone who doesn't love you back, you feel, at the same time, as if there are people you don't know out there who understand - and to not be alone, even in such a simple sense, is a good thing - but also like you're just another line in a book that was written a long time ago, with a story neither original nor good enough to be taken out of the shelf.

You need time to heal properly. You don't get over anorexia in one day, and the recovery isn't to be taken lightly. Feed your heart with love, little by little, until it learns to love the feeling of being full again. Until you can learn to accept the smiles directed at you, and smile back. The ugly green bruises will turn into tender skin. Don't underestimate yourself; your heart has survived everything else you've put it through, and so it will again.

It'll get better. You'll get better.


	5. Chapter 5

_11:35 AM_

_Good morning babe!!_ _（_ _｡_ _>_ _3_ _<_ _｡_ _）_

_I know its saturday so we'd go out, but a co-worker got sick and im covering 4 him.. wud u mind coming 2 the restaurant? I can ask the chef to be xxtra nice and do dat grilled fish u luv. Wat do u think? ;)_

_11:42 AM_

_Of course, that's great. I'll be there soon. Love you._

_11:43 AM_

_Luv ya right back~ Can't wait 2 kiss dat pretty face of urs~_

_11:45 AM_

_Hehe. Same here. See you soon!_

Chanyeol smiled at his phone, thinking about his silly boyfriend. Ever since he'd started dating Baekhyun, he'd found out a whole new way to face life - not a single day had to be boring. And they certainly weren't - from the  impromptu sleepovers at his apartment, at the beginning of their relationship, to the simple cutesy text messages Chanyeol still received every day. They were an official couple for about a year now, and things were going great. Chanyeol had, however, learned a lot about himself and about Baekhyun in the meantime.

Baek had quite a temper; he kept it hidden away, but if he got truly angry at something, a monster would awake. He'd need at least a day away from all civilization to calm down. He also had quite a melancholic side to him, wondering about the future and life in general. Chanyeol enjoyed being introduced to those faces no one imagined existed, when looking at Baekhyun's radiant smile at the Restaurant. He was also extremely caring, and would just about anything to please Chanyeol.

With him, Chanyeol had learned the value of selflessness, improved greatly in the ways of self expression and came to understand and appreciate a lot more modern art. Baekhyun had so many good qualities, all of which he refused to see on bad days; during those, Chanyeol would curl up with him, a blanket on top of them and a soothing deep voice calming Baekhyun down.

He threw his scarf on, locking the door and starting the short walk to the Restaurant. It took about 20 minutes, and Chanyeol enjoyed using this time to think. Lately, even the people that worked with him noticed the change in his personality, saying he was more talkative and approachable. They do say the qualities of people close to you tend to rub off; he wondered in which ways Baekhyun had changed since they had started dating, and hoped they were for the better.

There had certainly been a lot of changes on the Restaurant - the place was a couple feast these days. Minseok and Luhan were as strong as ever, immersed in their own little world. Luhan's band was starting to be more well known to the general public, and Chanyeol had even been to a couple concerts, dragged by Baekhyun. He and Minseok were quite good friends, seeing each other outside of the restaurant frequently. Turns out Luhan really did have a beautiful voice, for all his playing around. Chanyeol could bet he'd be big someday.

Joonmyeon and Jongdae were the funniest couple around. Unexpectedly enough, Joonmyeon, with his polite-son-in-law-you-want-your-mother-to-meet looks, had a sense of humor that matched perfectly with wild Jongdae's. They even did a little improvised skit when everyone went out together, making the whole crowd roll on the floor from laughter. Yixing had actually needed to ask them to stop, his stomach was aching so hard.

With his head filled with thoughts of his friends and his lover, Chanyeol arrived at the restaurant. It was uncharacteristic dark inside, as if the place was closed for the day. He wondered if Baekhyun had sent him to the wrong place, but that couldn't be it. Maybe a power shortage or something?

When he opened the door, loud singing boomed everywhere.

_Happy Birthday to you~_

Chanyeol looked around, astounded for a moment. All his friends were there, singing together and clapping hands. Baekhyun was also there, on  the front of the small crowd, holding a beautiful white cake with candles on top of it, lightning up the room. He looked at Chanyeol with that same smile that amazed him to this day; the brightest thing you'd ever see in your life.

_Happy Birthday to you~_

He started to feel hot, salty tears falling to the ground. They weren't of sadness, on the contrary. They were of accomplishment - when Chanyeol remembered how he used to be before he entered this place, and met all the people that would change his life, he was unspeakably relieved to know he'd never go back. He'd found not only love, but also hope.

_Happy birthday, dear Chanyeol~_

He looked up again. Tao was already crying too (he'd become good friends with the boy, who now used to cling to Chanyeol while whining), wiping his tears in Kris' designer shirt. Minseok was clapping happily with Luhan, who was behind him and smiled like a grandpa. Yixing was gesturing to him ('don't cry!'), smile and dimple on place. Junmyeon and Jongdae sang enthusiastically, the latter jumping on place.

And there was Baekhyun.

Beautiful, bright Baekhyun. The light of his otherwise dull life.

_Happy birthday to you~_

He blew off the candles, making a wish.  Everyone huddled together then, congratulating and hugging him. They ate the cake, and it tasted sweeter than Chanyeol ever remembered eating.

_May this happiness last for a long time._

 

"You fell for it so easily." Chanyeol and Baekhyun were in bed, only the moonlight illuminating the room. They had finally arrived home, after a long day of celebrating.  Baekhyun's voice was soft, since the atmosphere was so quiet, but also a little hoarse, due to overuse - after the restaurant, they went to the karaoke, where he obviously sang his heart out, "I can't believe you forgot about your own birthday."

"Well, it's not like I ever celebrated it much." Chanyeol looked where his boyfriend laid, white sheets framing his small figure. Everything about his house was simple, compared to Baekhyun's; his sheets were white, while Baekhyun's were striped. He had two brown mugs, Baek had four bright colored ones. He had no pets, while Baekhyun had two cats. Things were getting more and more mixed, though, as a bright orange bowl of noodles found its way to his cabinet and two blue towels hung from the bathroom door. "It'd never been a big deal when I lived with my father, and even less when I lived alone. I'd never really seen the point of celebrating... until today."

"Until today?" A smile found its way to Baekhyun's face. Chanyeol loved when his eyes turned into little crescent moons; that's when he knew the smile was real.

"Yeah. Until today." He watched as his boyfriend grabbed his pencil, rubber and notebook from the bedside table, sitting up. His torso was naked and his legs were tangled in the sheets, the white of the fabric matching his milky skin. "It was the first time I felt there was actually something worth celebrating. I was really touched."

"I could see that, you big crybaby. Now, don't move." Baekhyun started sketching, face focused on the drawing. Chanyeol stood very still, admiring the view. It really was breathtaking.

"Hey, how did you know my birthday was today? I know I told you, but it was a really long time ago. I didn't think you'd remember."

"I looked at your driver's license." The sound of the pencil against the paper was swift, the forms taking shape, "You're grimacing in the picture. It's weird, your face looking so serious."

"Well, they said I wasn't allowed to smile, so that was the next best thing." Chanyeol explained, trying hard not to move, "I though it might look sexy."

Baekhyun bursted out laughing, throwing his rubber at where the tall boy laid.

"Oh my God," he covered his face with his hands, "That is so characteristic. Silly, just like you giant infant. Now stay still, I'm trying to draw here."

Chanyeol complied, staying still until the drawing was finished.

"Here. Happy Birthday."

"It's beautiful, Baek." Chanyeol ran his hands through the drawing, admiring the fine lines. Was that how he looked when Baekhyun looked at him? He'd wondered so many times, never finding himself deserving. It was too ethereal to be real. "Heh. I don't think I have horns or flowers growing out of me, though."

"That's artistic freedom, you insensible ass. The flower crown gives a nature aura to the whole thing." The boy smiled, despite his complaints, "I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure what to give you, and I thought that was the more earnest gift possible."

"I love it." He traced the arch of Baekhyun's back, making the older boy shiver. "I love you."

"I love you too." Baekhyun closed the distance between them, kissing Chanyeol tenderly. When their mouths collided, the intensity equaled the force of a thousand suns.

Their love was nothing short of a miracle of the universe; two completely different worlds, bound together by the sheer willpower of two young boys. A systematic accountant and a carefree waiter. Maybe it was written in the stars somewhere, a corky romantic comedy that made de angels grin as they watched.  It is certain, though, that no love would ever burn as brightly as theirs did.


End file.
